wishes she had: a child who chose to die

On November 9, 2007, in Davao City, Philippines, at the tender age of 11, little girl Mariannet Amper hanged herself with a nylon rope. Borne to parents whose mother earned only P25 a day packing noodles, or half a US $ dollar, and a father who is jobless, the little girl lived a life at the cellar even among the slum dwellers. In a slum area, her family was discriminated because they were unshaven, dirty, and poor even by the slum standards. Who ever said that even among the poor, there is no social ladder.

But the little girl did not die without a statement. Under her pillow was a diary and an unfinished letter she titled, “Wish ko lang”, which means “my wishes”. She wished for a bag, new shoes, and jobs for her parents so she could finish primary school. At a tender age, she knew that her only ticket away from the depravity of slum life is education. In her diary, she wrote she missed school because she had no money for the fare. She was absent so many times that her teacher stopped counting. Her passion for learning was evident when she said that being absent for a week felt she missed school already for months. Though she wanted to go to church, she could not because she had no money for the fare.

In life, she was nothing, but she had something that even death could not take away from her: her dreams, the dreams that she surely shared with the little children across the globe. How many children have been deprived of food, health, shelter, and education? Mariannet made sure that her death would open our eyes to the grinding poverty children have been exposed to.

The news shocked the senses. How could a little girl decide to hang herself? The children are supposed to be gay, playful, and unmindful of the troubles the parents have. If what were flashed in the news was the suicide of an adult, it would not have bothered us that much. But here was a child who was innocent and supposed to be insulated from the woes of the adult, all the while bearing the pains only the adults should carry, finally taking her life when she could not have P100 to buy materials for her school project.

Yes, she was finally buried. But she kept us shocked that we should be too calloused if her poignant statement about life among the poor children would not open our eyes.

the kids

meet my kids: (left to right) lynette, matt steve, lesette; second, the youngest, and eldest respectively.

i really dont know what to write, how to start, and in the first place, why i am blogging about my kids. anything about the kids conjure a whole gamut of emotions, that one can hardly differentiate one from the other; but the moment a parent starts to write about the kids, there is no stopping, as there is no range limit to the full orchestra of paternal love for his kids.

let me start about what i am learning from my kids. the individual pursuit of happiness cannot be defined by the parents. The moment parents tell the kids what interests to pursue, the kids cease to be their own, and as they live life not of their own making, they cease to have an individual persona, their identity.

lesette, 13 years young, the eldest, is one kid a conventional family treats as the black sheep: one who does not conform with the expected behaviour. She started prep school at the age of five, from then on she showed lack of interest in studying her lessons nor listen to her teachers. but while in prep school, she befriended the security guard, all the teachers, the principal, school directress, and all the students of that schol. The school was small so everybody knows each other, so a I thought. but when i transferred her to a university, she easily went on to be the most popular student. One afternoon, i was suprised when she asked her mom to prepare snacks because she had a meeting with the officers of kids’ association in our subdivision. she organized the group and she was ten years old then. though apparently she lacks the textbook lessons, she is learning well in the university called life.

lynette , 12 years young, is the exact opposite. at the age of four, we had to enroll her in the prep school because she would cry if we did not. she went on to top her classmates from prep to her elementary years. but unlike lesette, she is a home body and tends to keep a small circle of friends. she is hard to befriend with. but unlike lesette who indulges in different interests, lynette is focused and if i may say, fiercely driven. at an early age, i had her tutored for piano lessons which she excelled. i did not introduce her to my passion – tennis – as she appears to be very poised at a very young age, and her complexion may be burnt by the searing sun. to my surprise though, she took the tennis racket and insisted that she be taught. she started june of 2006, and yesterday, she was a champion in the 12 under category in a tournament participated by the seasoned players in Mindanao, Philippines. she has overtaken tennis players who have played for not less than five years already. let me show off her trophy( hehehe) hereunder:

matt steve , six years old, on the other hand is combination of the personalities of her two sisters. gragarious enough to have many friends, but not quite as driven as lynette. i was surprised though when i saw his grades to be 90% above in all subjects, even though i have not seen him study his lessons. but he is ferociously driven about computers. he can play 24/7 in a computer.

my friends will always compare my kids from each other, specially lesette and lynette , whose personalities are exactly opposite each other. but as a father, and knowing that life is not only IQ and grades, i never compare my kids. education is not merely about the lessons in the classroom but also , if nor more, of the the outside world. in the end, what matters is the kind of journey in life they will take, and whether they can hurdle the obstacles in their respective journeys.

my apologies if i indulge you in a cheering spree for my kids. but if not me, who else? (hehehe)

to live is to discover life, and the realization of one’s full potential in the pursuit of his own meaning and happiness. i don’t play my kids’ lives, nor tell them to choose one path from another. i am only their coach of the kind of life they want to live.

i dont know what my children would become with the kind of parenting i practice. my only philosophy in life is that i should pursue the kind of life i find meaning with. i may fail, but at least, i don’t appear successful to the multitude but inside is bereft of meaning. If i hold that philosophy, how can i not let my kids seek and live a life they can relate to, and be fullfilled with?

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Monday June 4, 2007 – 09:47am (CST) Edit | Delete

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